This is the second installment in Daddy on Duty Week. Check out Part I here: Daddy on Duty: Day One. Let the Insanity Begin.
On the second morning of my wife’s absence, my three-year-old son, Lil’ O, trotted into my room at 5:45 a.m. holding his two favorite stuffed animals, “White Monkey” and “New Monkey.” You may be shocked to learn that “White Monkey” is a small white monkey. And “New Monkey” was recently acquired. Yes, creativity abounds in this house.
A quarter to six is earlier than I prefer to rise unless there is a fire, earthquake, zombie apocalypse or other immediately life-threatening event occurring. So I suggested to Lil’ O that he return to his room to go back to sleep.
“No,” he said plainly.
“What?” I said.
“No, thank you.”
“What? Oh, um, okay. Nice manners, buddy. Okay, you can stay in here, but please be quiet. Daddy is very tired.”
O climbed into the bed, settled his stuffed animals on the pillow next to me, and commenced staring at me quietly but rather intently. It was a little disconcerting, yet I still managed to doze off.
Several minutes later, I awoke to the sound of talking. And maybe I was part-dreaming, but I swore I heard more than one voice. I opened my eyes and saw O still sitting there staring at me intently.
“Were you just talking?” I asked him.
“Oh, White Monkey and New Monkey?”
“Yes, and Ellyat.”
“No, dad. Elly – AT.”
“Who’s Elly-At?” I asked, looking around.
“Is he here now?”
“Um, what is he saying?”
“Oh, lots of stuff,” said O, nodding his head conspiratorially.
“About anyone in particular?” I asked, swallowing hard and looking around the room nervously.
Then O giggled and jumped off the bed declaring, “I think I hear a garbage truck!”
Needless to say, I was freaked out. I clutched my wife’s body pillow close, pulled the covers up to my eyes, and whispered to White Monkey and New Monkey, “When I threw you guys down the stairs the other day, you know that was an accident, right? If something goes down, do you have my back?”
They didn’t reply. Just sat there. And stared.
This crap wouldn’t happen if my wife was around.