The Dad explains March Madness while the kids predict game results from the Sweet 16
Today at breakfast I was chatting with my four-year-old son, a.k.a “Super O,” and almost-three-year-old daughter, a.k.a. “Godzilla,” and I to get the gang’s thoughts on March Madness.
“Hey, kiddos, aren’t you excited that it’s March Madness?”
“Yes!” they shouted in unison.
Then the girl went back to eating her cereal, while the boy got a quizzical look on his face.
“Wait, daddy, what’s March Madness?” he asked.
“Well, buddy, I’m glad you asked. March Madness is a magical time of year when all the best college basketball teams get together for a big tournament, and they play a bunch of games to see who is the greatest. If you win, you get to play another game. If you lose, you have to go home and do your homework. And if you keep winning, you get to go all the way to the Final Four, which is a super magical event, even though it often takes place in a location that you’d otherwise never want to visit, like Indianapolis or Detroit or Texas. But it’s amazing, like getting an all-access pass to Jake the Never Land Pirate’s secret hideout, only instead of puny pirates, there are thousands of wild basketball fans and lots of TV cameras. And they show all of this action on TV, which is why daddy spends so much time watching TV this time of year, instead of working or helping around the house or doing things with the family.”
My son nodded in appreciation, but I could tell I was losing my daughter with this description, so I added this in: “Another name for March Madness is The Big Dance.”
She immediately put down her spoon and placed both hands underneath her chin. “I’m listening.”
“And if a little team that no one expected to do well starts winning a bunch of games, they call it a ‘Cinderella,’” I added.
Her eyes immediately got wide. “Do they wear glass slippers?” she asked.
“Well, no, glass slippers don’t have enough traction for a basketball court. Plus they’re not great for the ankles. But the Cinderellas do lots of crazy celebration dances if they win. And if they win the whole thing, they get showered with confetti and glitter. Lots and lots of glitter.”
The girl let out a giggle, and I could tell I had her attention. So I took it up another notch. “Today starts the second weekend of the tournament,” I said. “It’s called—get this—the ‘Sweet 16.’”
Both kids gasped.
“Uh, huh. And to make things extra sweet for the Sweet 16, I’m going to give each of you a piece of candy for each game you predict correctly in the Sweet 16.”
“Yes!” shouted the boy.
“Candy! I want mine now!” yelled the girl.
“No, not yet,” I replied. “You need to guess who’s going to win each game, and then I’ll give you the candy after the games are done. Okay, ready?”
So here you go, readers, my kids predict the Sweet 16. Let’s see if these preschoolers can prognosticate better than the so-called experts. For each game, I asked them to
The 2014 Men’s NCAA Basketball Championship Sweet 16 Predictions – By Super O (age 4, boy) and Godzilla (age almost 3, girl)
The Sweet 16, a candy-laden adventure full of dancing Cinderellas and glitter – lots and lots of glitter.
Florida Gators vs. UCLA Bruins
Super O’s prediction: “Is a gator like Tick Tock Croc in Jake the Never Land Pirate? OK then, how about the Bruins? Is that the team we don’t like? No? Okay, Bruins then.”
Godzilla’s prediction: “Do gators eat us?”
Baylor Bears vs. Wisconsin Badgers
Super O’s prediction: “Bears definitely eat people.”
Godzilla’s prediction: “What’s a badger?”
Arizona Wildcats vs. San Diego State Aztecs
Super O’s prediction: “San Diego, because we went there before.”
Godzilla’s prediction: “Baylor Bears!”
Dayton Flyers vs. Stanford Cardinal
Super O’s prediction: “The Daytons. I like their pilot flying guy.”
Godzilla’s prediction: “The one that O said. Because.”
Virginia Cavalier vs. Michigan State Spartans
Super O’s prediction: “The other one, not the Spartans. I don’t know why.”
Godzilla’s prediction: “The Part-spans. Yes, Put-spins will win. Because.”
Kentucky Wildcats vs. Louisville Cardinals
Super O’s prediction: “The Wildcats, because they are brave and fast”
Godzilla’s prediction: “Wildcats, because they are good winners.”
Iowa State Cyclones vs. Connecticut Huskies
Super O’s prediction: “Huskies! They look like they have big teeth and are fast.”
Godzilla’s prediction: “Have I been to Iowa?”
Tennessee Volunteers vs. Michigan Wolverines
Super O’s prediction: “Wolverines [then noticing the grimace from his nanny, who is from Ohio]. Okay, no. The Volunteers. [Looking at nanny again] Um, just because.”
Godzilla’s prediction: “No, O, not Volunteers. I don’t like that word. I pick Tennessee.”